When Change Feels Hard, Try This

Hello, and welcome. I’m here to honor your commitment to being your best self today. You are rocking it!

Ever found yourself eager to make a change, only to lose steam halfway and revert to old patterns? I’ve embarked on a journey exploring why change is so hard, delving into the elusive realm between 'I want to be this' and 'I am this'.

Let's explore together the insights from thought leaders on habit change, doing your most important work, and living purposefully. It's an adventure worth taking!

1. Take small steps

Small attainable steps will get you to your vision when you stay consistent and focused. Having a big idea and amazing vision is admirable, and the process of obtaining your goals is just as important (some might say even more important). Remember the fable of the tortoise and the hare?

​2. Be consistent ​

Building new habits is an uphill journey, constantly reshaping our wonderfully quirky brains. The secret? Setting up simple routines and sticking to them daily. You know that 21-day habit-forming rule, right?

Well, brace yourself, some studies suggest it could be anywhere from 18 to 254 days, averaging around 66 days or 10 weeks. Yikes! It's understandable to feel a drop in momentum, especially when it takes 3 times longer than expected. Try habit stacking or 2-minute micro-habits to help you stay on track. Remember, it's all about building that muscle and showing up consistently.

James Clear shares these cool insights in Atomic Habits. Try out strategies for ease-filled routines such as “Habit Stacking” and the “Two-Minute Rule”. Check out The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan for inspiring thoughts on focus and consistency.

​3. Recognize it’s one step forward, two steps back

​Today is a new day to try again. It’s a cliche for a reason! This mantra has helped me through the many times I didn’t stick with it and felt like I let myself down. So, when you feel knocked down, celebrate the fact that you had the courage to try. And use the blessing of a new day to try again.

​4. Make it a priority

​Consistently focusing on doing your most meaningful work FIRST is key. This includes removing tempting distractions (hello social media!) and the “one more thing” procrastination that is my personal go-to time suck.

If it’s important and it’s not regularly the first thing you accomplish each day, then you are not setting yourself up for success. Try out tools such as time blocking (regularly blocking off time on your calendar) and time chunking (creating distraction-free focused time) to keep interruptions at bay.

For those of us who find it hard to focus on our most meaningful work, Gay Hendricks discusses overcoming the limitations we impose on ourselves in his works The Big Leap and The Genius Zone.

​5. Hold firm boundaries

​If you are a recovering people pleaser, like me, discussion of boundaries may have you breaking out in a sweat. But stay with me! Our time is finite, and when we say “Yes” to something we are inevitably saying “No” to something else (whether or not we are consciously making that choice).

Other people in your life, including your family, partner, friends, colleagues and bosses may have ideas of how you should spend your time and energy. Being clear about what is my BIG YES and getting comfortable with saying "No" to everything else has completely changed my life. And it will change yours, too!

Does the thought of setting boundaries make you squirm? Check out The Art of Saying NO by Damon Zahariades for step-by-step examples and scenarios from a fellow recovering people-pleaser.

6. Keep it simple ​

There is much to explore in the realm of Simplicity and Minimalism. I’ve spent over a decade experimenting with these concepts, figuring out what works best for me and my family. The core of simplicity is to pare down what gets in the way of what really matters to you. The good news, you get to choose what that looks like. The bad news, you have to choose.

Making lasting changes in your life takes A LOT of focus and energy. We can’t expect to wake up one day with a triple-dose of life force and time warping superpowers. So, where will that time and energy come from? Introduce simplicity. With less to do, less to organize, less to schedule, less to buy, less to clean, less to [fill in your major time suck]... you are able to re-direct that energy towards making change stick and showing up as your best self.

For inspiration on “less is more” concepts, check out Be More with Less, Simple Living, Becoming Minimalist, Essentialism and The Minimalists to explore simplicity and minimalism with Courtney Carver, Janet Luhrs, Joshua Becker, Greg McKeown, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus.

​7. Visualize your progress

Feeling stuck in the midst of leveling up? Picture change as an improvement project. What does it look like? I enjoy puttering in my gardens, so my vision of my inner improvement project looks like a magnificent bright flower garden inviting butterflies and hummingbirds to dance in the breeze.

Perhaps your vision is an upscale kitchen remodel, classic car restoration, or a “happy little clouds” Bob Ross inspired work.

When the inevitable moment of feeling stuck and defeated arrives, step into your inner vision and see how much you have done so far. The foundation of my garden has been dug out, edged, lined and filled with rich soil. The seeds have been planted, and various seedlings are reaching towards the sun. A hummingbird buzzes by with anticipation checking out the work in progress.

What does your improvement project look like?

Take a moment to relish how far you have come! Now imagine what your project will look like when complete. What’s the one next thing that will get you there? Do that, just that one next thing.

Need some help?

If change has you feeling stuck, you're not alone. Let's slow down, find clarity, and focus on the next small step forward, together.

Reach out for a free consultation to explore how I can support you!